So...last night we did the marathon Christmas thing. We took the boys to see Santa and then went and picked out our Christmas tree. Lord have mercy. It went a little like this:
Santa: Ho Ho Ho boys...what do you want for Christmas?
Big: A Wii.
Santa: Ho Ho Ho that is nice...a Wii. Well have you been good?
Big: I have. (pointing to his brother) HE hasn't.
Little: Yes I have!
Big: No sir. You're bad.
Me: OK BOYS. SANTA REALLY IS WATCHING
Santa: (looking at Little) How about you? What do you want for Christmas?
Little: A trailer with a room for my mom and a room for my dad and a room for the dog and all the rooms should have flat screen TVs and the trailer should be able to connect to my bike and I want it to be blue. (and...please refer to the top of this post for what he is actually asking for...)
Santa: Well...Ho Ho Ho...that sounds nice...were you a good boy?
It is at this point I realize, Santa is deaf. That motherfucker can't hear anything my kids have said. I mean, cause really? My kid asks for a TRAILER and you say "that sounds nice?" How about some help here? How about...HO HO HOW am I going to wrap that bitch? Or Ho Ho where would Rudolph put it? Instead he says THAT SOUNDS NICE? No. It doesn't. Thanks.
AND. If he COULD hear, he wouldn't have asked if Little was a good boy. Big just got done telling Santa that Little wasn't good. Shit man. LISTEN.
And so it went...Big, convinced that he is getting the Wii. He is. Little, convinced that Santa could see it in his deaf little heart to bring him a trailer...a $2ok trailer. I guess that could be considered foresight, since we probably will be homeless at some point.
1 comment:
LMAO he doesn't ask for much!
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