Tomorrow is my birf day. I don't really care...I do secretly really care, but I don't really really care. I find humor in the fact that my good friends at Macy's sent me a $10 coupon to use at their nice store. I also got something similar from the good folks at Victoria Secret. Something tells me I shop too much. The other cool thing that I got is a gift cert. from Nick & Stef's steakhouse in NYC for $50 off dinner. $50 off dinner! That is incredible. I am usually in NYC for my bday, so this pans out for me...I won't be there this year, but I will be there the end of the month, so I plan to use it. Funny, I get better gifts from people that I don't know than from people that I do know. Isn't that something? I have already spent the $ from VS on new jammies. The jammies are all for me. They are pink long underwear type with strawberries on them. I love them. They are size medium. That makes me love them even more.
I am headed out tonight with my friend Trish...who may also be referred to as Lola in the blog. Either way, she is one and the same. We are doing dinner. Then who knows what. I hope a little shoppy shop.
Wow. this is incredibly boring. I will stop now.
Happy birthday to me.
Friday, November 10, 2006
new blog
I have moved some of this over from my myspace page...I think I will like it better this way. Lemme know!
Terror and the beauty products
I felt this deserved its own blog...It started taking over the "things that annoy me" blog...so I moved it. You'll thank me at some point.
The airport....it would seem that there is a new rule about not being able to look good when you reach your destination. Yes. The mean old security guy wanted to confiscate my ENTIRE morning routine. Does he think my hair is NATURALLY this beautiful? OH HELL NO. He starts pullin out shit and I was like "Uhm, excuse me, but what are you doing?" Yes. I did know that there had been a terror thing going on. Yes. I do support the crack down on terror. But lets look at this. You start taking my beauty products and you are going to WISH I were only a terrorist. Come on. AND. He wanted to take that shit I spent $82 on from the dermatologist. YEAH, I don't think so. Because my fucking ticket only cost me $75. If you think I am kicking over my shit you are CRAZY. And my Straight hair shit that I can only find at ULTA...and I HATE to go into ULTA. Crazy. I would be more likely to blow up a plane WITHOUT the beauty stuff than with it. And I bet now that I said "blow up a plane" I am officially on some government list that will prevent me from EVER travelling again without a rectal exam. Well. I say BRING IT. Because of all places on me I would think you want to go, my rectum IS NOT one of them.
Now. I know you are wondering...did she even GO on this trip? I mean. Shit. I was nearly without my hair and face. Well. Read on...I pulled my near psycho-self together and asked if I could check the bag? Turns out that is an option. So. My $82 face shit was able to make the trip. BUT. When I went to help the asshole repack my bag...I got YELLED at for putting my FEDEX envelope on the table and reaching over the "wall" EASY Charlie. I zipped that bitch and you are NEVER going to get it alone. But TRY if you must. And as for the supervisor who did the yelling. Please. It was a FEDEX envelope. Clearly, I am IMPORTANT. Well. The bag got zipped. I managed to get out of security without a fist fight...but and this is funny...the guy CARRIED my bag out along the wall until we were passed the secure part and I was able to be alone with my beauty products without being a threat to national security. Also. I had my boots in tow. Fuck that. You have to take them off to go thru security? Again. YES. I read about the shoe bomber. I get where they are coming from...but honestly, my FEET don't even fit in these shoes...you think I have room for any explosives? Yeah. The ones I couldn't fit in my moisturizer, I threw in my shoe. Well. Since I had to go check my bag...I wasn't putting the shoes on...then taking them back off again. Hell no. So. I paraded thru the airport with my bag of terror and my boots. Awesome.
It all worked. I arrived at my destination...beauty routine and all...Inspite of the mean people at the security check point who looked like they could do with a beauty routine upgrade. Maybe that is it. Not only are they fighting terrorism, but they are also fighting flawless skin and straight, shiny hair.
But I digress.
The airport....it would seem that there is a new rule about not being able to look good when you reach your destination. Yes. The mean old security guy wanted to confiscate my ENTIRE morning routine. Does he think my hair is NATURALLY this beautiful? OH HELL NO. He starts pullin out shit and I was like "Uhm, excuse me, but what are you doing?" Yes. I did know that there had been a terror thing going on. Yes. I do support the crack down on terror. But lets look at this. You start taking my beauty products and you are going to WISH I were only a terrorist. Come on. AND. He wanted to take that shit I spent $82 on from the dermatologist. YEAH, I don't think so. Because my fucking ticket only cost me $75. If you think I am kicking over my shit you are CRAZY. And my Straight hair shit that I can only find at ULTA...and I HATE to go into ULTA. Crazy. I would be more likely to blow up a plane WITHOUT the beauty stuff than with it. And I bet now that I said "blow up a plane" I am officially on some government list that will prevent me from EVER travelling again without a rectal exam. Well. I say BRING IT. Because of all places on me I would think you want to go, my rectum IS NOT one of them.
Now. I know you are wondering...did she even GO on this trip? I mean. Shit. I was nearly without my hair and face. Well. Read on...I pulled my near psycho-self together and asked if I could check the bag? Turns out that is an option. So. My $82 face shit was able to make the trip. BUT. When I went to help the asshole repack my bag...I got YELLED at for putting my FEDEX envelope on the table and reaching over the "wall" EASY Charlie. I zipped that bitch and you are NEVER going to get it alone. But TRY if you must. And as for the supervisor who did the yelling. Please. It was a FEDEX envelope. Clearly, I am IMPORTANT. Well. The bag got zipped. I managed to get out of security without a fist fight...but and this is funny...the guy CARRIED my bag out along the wall until we were passed the secure part and I was able to be alone with my beauty products without being a threat to national security. Also. I had my boots in tow. Fuck that. You have to take them off to go thru security? Again. YES. I read about the shoe bomber. I get where they are coming from...but honestly, my FEET don't even fit in these shoes...you think I have room for any explosives? Yeah. The ones I couldn't fit in my moisturizer, I threw in my shoe. Well. Since I had to go check my bag...I wasn't putting the shoes on...then taking them back off again. Hell no. So. I paraded thru the airport with my bag of terror and my boots. Awesome.
It all worked. I arrived at my destination...beauty routine and all...Inspite of the mean people at the security check point who looked like they could do with a beauty routine upgrade. Maybe that is it. Not only are they fighting terrorism, but they are also fighting flawless skin and straight, shiny hair.
But I digress.
Starbuck's Man
I am officially in LOVE. Ok. Maybe not love. Not even like...but OMG. I have a raging crush on this guy that I see at Starbucks. I have become addicted to both him and the coffee there. It is a sad state of affairs. Every morning, I run around like a crazy person...trying to get myself together...shouting at the kids...we have to be at my inlaws by a certain time, or else I don't see him. There are days when the boys are close to leaving the house in their underwear, just so mommy can get her coffee and eye candy. LOVE LOVE LOVE this guy. I know you are wondering more about him...and yes. I do know his name. And yes. We have spoken. How do I know his name? I basically parked next to him...and his ID was hanging from the mirror. I wish I knew where he worked, but really, the mystery is the allure, here. (I am currently ABOVE rummaging thru his glove box. I am sure this status will change...but for now, I will NOT do it.) He drives a blue Durango. He wears jeans and boots to work. He is too clean, though...like he doesn't look dirty, like he works construction. He drinks regular coffee...and last Wed we exchanged our first words. He touched my arm (gasp!) and told me to---are you ready for this??---"have a good day." O M G! Naturally, being witty and quick, I said "you too!" and proceeded to stand there and smile like a goof. Real good. Keep 'em wanting more, that is what I say. I didn't get to see him again until this morning. And. We exchanged word again. Yes. I know I said WORD, not words, because it was only a one word exchange. He said "HEY!" and I smiled. I know I know...coy! That is what you are thinking. This time, I watched the blue durango drive out of the lot and turn right. So. That really means nothing to me...except that he doesn't work somewhere to the left of Starbucks. What is a girl to do? I also think he may be married. It is all good though.
So...stand by for news on the starbucks man. I look for another "word" exchange soon. Wait there, on the edge of your seat.
I am changing the color for the update...because some of you might not be able to pick up the change...not naming names, of course...
So...Starbucks man...It has been 2 long, lonely weeks since I have seen him. I am not quite sure what I am going to do. There has been some talk of mentioning my crush to the actual Starbucks workers, Thanks Maria, and creating a tale of woe...to find out information about him...It is early when I go there...so I would really have to get a good night sleep...and be ON MY GAME...so. I don't see that happening in the near future...simply because I STILL HAVE CUSTODY of these kids. I have, however, began a friendship with the cute little cashier...she kinda remembers my order...so...I am hoping to parlay that into some information...I have to remain patient (I hope you will too...) I just don't know what I am going to do...2 full weeks without even a GLIMPSE of Starbucks man...In my head, our next conversation will go like this: Me, very sexy smile, "Hi there!" Him: Very cute smile "Hi! I have not seen you in a while. Where you away?" Me: still cute smile "I was in New York last week for work." (in my best...I am very important, but trying to sound so casual...voice) Him: "New York? Wow! Did you have a nice trip..." and then there is more small talk...I just can't figure out where I want this to go...on the one hand...I am married...on the other...he is so cute! Do I want to know his name? Really...I mean, technically, I do. It is John. But I don't know anything else...other than the whole, he works to the right of Starbucks and drives a blue durango and wears jeans and work boots to work...I guess I will just wait to see how this little drama plays out...
So...stand by for news on the starbucks man. I look for another "word" exchange soon. Wait there, on the edge of your seat.
I am changing the color for the update...because some of you might not be able to pick up the change...not naming names, of course...
So...Starbucks man...It has been 2 long, lonely weeks since I have seen him. I am not quite sure what I am going to do. There has been some talk of mentioning my crush to the actual Starbucks workers, Thanks Maria, and creating a tale of woe...to find out information about him...It is early when I go there...so I would really have to get a good night sleep...and be ON MY GAME...so. I don't see that happening in the near future...simply because I STILL HAVE CUSTODY of these kids. I have, however, began a friendship with the cute little cashier...she kinda remembers my order...so...I am hoping to parlay that into some information...I have to remain patient (I hope you will too...) I just don't know what I am going to do...2 full weeks without even a GLIMPSE of Starbucks man...In my head, our next conversation will go like this: Me, very sexy smile, "Hi there!" Him: Very cute smile "Hi! I have not seen you in a while. Where you away?" Me: still cute smile "I was in New York last week for work." (in my best...I am very important, but trying to sound so casual...voice) Him: "New York? Wow! Did you have a nice trip..." and then there is more small talk...I just can't figure out where I want this to go...on the one hand...I am married...on the other...he is so cute! Do I want to know his name? Really...I mean, technically, I do. It is John. But I don't know anything else...other than the whole, he works to the right of Starbucks and drives a blue durango and wears jeans and work boots to work...I guess I will just wait to see how this little drama plays out...
work fun
So...as I walked in to work...I saw 2 very funny SHOE mistakes. Really, you would think 2 shoe mistakes would take longer to happen than the 7 minutes it takes me to get from my car to my desk...but alas...they did!
The first MISTAKE I saw was a girl...who is often in violation of the shoe code of conduct...but she was rockin a pair of cantalope colored flats. Yes. I said cantalope. It was bizarre to the point of disturbing. I don't know...it didn't match what she was wearing. I don' think they COULD have matched what she was wearing...So...after that violation...I ran into POCAHONTIS. Mother fuck, I thought that the Indian boots were extinct. But, turns out, there is one more pair hiding out...Jeans, Indian boots, and a denim shirt. Nice look. Had she completed the outfit with a traditional head-dress, I might have been less surprised.
The first MISTAKE I saw was a girl...who is often in violation of the shoe code of conduct...but she was rockin a pair of cantalope colored flats. Yes. I said cantalope. It was bizarre to the point of disturbing. I don't know...it didn't match what she was wearing. I don' think they COULD have matched what she was wearing...So...after that violation...I ran into POCAHONTIS. Mother fuck, I thought that the Indian boots were extinct. But, turns out, there is one more pair hiding out...Jeans, Indian boots, and a denim shirt. Nice look. Had she completed the outfit with a traditional head-dress, I might have been less surprised.
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