Thursday, September 20, 2007

Just shoot me, please

PLEASE...for the love of God and all things good and holy. SHOOT ME.
My kids? Driving me nuts.
My husband? Driving me nuts.

I have the husband trying to crawl up my ass and pitch a tent now...jesus. You go to couples therapy with someone and they all the fucking sudden can't get enough of you. I tell you...if you ever want someone to pay attention to you? Tell them you are leaving them. Fuck. It backfired. Now I have him lodged up my ass with no apparent plans to leave.
I have the oldest son...reading every article from every ever loving paper...about football. And? I just realized...we don't even get a fucking paper. Where is this coming from? We stopped getting the local newspaper when the headlines read "Bookmobile catches fire." Really? THAT is breaking news? The whole situation in the Middle East? War torn countries, starving babies? But the BOOKMOBILE? Yeah. Quality. So...someone is feeding my son the newspaper, and I am not happy about it. Yes, I hear what you are saying...HE IS READING. Yes. But ALOUD...about FOOTBALL.
The little one and the dog are in cahoots. The little one fucks with the dog...and he growls at him...then the little one yells...lather, rinse, repeat.
I am going to take a xanax and going to bed.


1 comment:

Melissa said...

LMAOOOOOO I hope he used lube to get all camping gear in, or else it'll be a bitch when he decides to leave :))
I think it's in the air again. (I hate that contagious shit) I woke up this morning to 4 boys screaming in unison "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" with Ella running after them cackling like an evil little witch.
A 2 year old, pushing around my 11, 10, 6, and 5 year old boys.
Yep, she's definately mine.