Yesterday, among the bills and offers for credit cards, I received a letter from the big ones school. He is the good kid, so I figured it was nothing too serious...when I opened it, I could hardly believe my eyes. It was the results of the PSSA test that he took last year. No idea if this is a national test, I guess I should know, but I don't. Anyway...the PSSA tests reading and math. It scores you against students across the state? Anyway...Big is advanced in both categories. No big surprise...but the big surprise was HOW well he did. Now...there is some argument that he was switched at birth...whatever...He looks too much like me for him not to be mine...and my husband is pretty intelligent. I can pass off reasonably intelligent if I have to, at least for short periods of time...so he is our kid. But it was amazing how well he did. He was at the high end of the chart. I have felt pride before. But never like this. Tears welled in my eyes. He works so hard. He is only 10. He loves school. He loves to read. I hope, beyond all hope, that he doesn't lose this passion in an attempt to be cool or to fit in with his peers. I hope that we can foster this passion and help it to grow. He is in 4Th grade. He plays football. At some point, getting good grades and being in the GATE program isn't going to be cool. He isn't real concerned with that at this point...but I want him to be OK with his intelligence...but also to just be a kid. I watch him sometimes...when he needs to make a decision...I can see that he is going to have trouble when he has to decide between right and wrong. He wants to do the right thing...even when it isn't the cool thing. He is going to have a hard time, I think. We're going to have a hard time.
The love that you feel for your children is hard to explain...and your wants and your hopes and your fears for them change at a moments notice. I hope we can do right by him...so that he can do right, as well. I know that every mother wants the best for her child. I wish someone could help you know what that is!!