Sunday, December 17, 2006

Ho Ho Holidays

Riddle me this. What the fuck is up with the Christmas decorations? People are going BANANAS these days with this...I take issue with the whole "plastic nativity set" lit in the front yard right next to the giant inflatable snowman...I am pretty certain that Frosty was not at the birth of Jesus. Nor was Santa, for that matter. I mean...really. It is one thing to celebrate the season and they symbols that represent said celebration, but somehow, displaying a plastic nativity set, complete with plastic wisemen and donkey, does not guarantee you a spot in Heaven. And. Speaking of the giant inflatable things that people are displaying out on the lawn...ARE YOU PEOPLE BLIND? I mean really. A giant inflatable santa? Or how about the inflatable Grinch? Or my personal favorite, Homer Simpson in a santa suit...AWESOME. Nothing says "Merry Christmas" quite like Homer Simpson. And. This year, the people at Giant Inflatable Holiday Decorations R Us, have out done themselves! Have you seen the inflatable "snow globes?" Real classy. What will come next? I am actually afraid for next season.
Also. Might I make mention of those among us who feel the need to decorate their cars. WHAT THE FUCK? Really? Your car? That sounds like a good idea?? NO! It isn't. Why do you need a wreath strapped to the front of your buick? You don't. Or how about the minivan I saw in the parking lot at Mc Donalds with the pine garland around the roof rack? That is AWESOME. How does the conversation like that start? "Hey honey. Have you seen the wreath and the garland for my car?" And why isn't a conversation like that ended with "You stupid mother fucker, why do you need to decorate your car?" Maybe that is a little harsh...but come on. Do you know how Christmas goes at our house? I mention to my husband that we might want to get a tree...and then...once we get it...the kids mention that maybe we need to decorate the tree...Things get done, but they certainly get done in stages...and there is no mention of car decorations.
And...while we are on the subject...Who thought up the whole Christmas sweater?
I guess you better go...I am keeping you from your Christmas sweater wearing, giant inflatable Santa loving, car decorating, plastic jesus.

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