One is from when I was in the hospital and one is from the walk that I took with the dog. Neither are very funny, I suppose.
My stay at the hospital was eventful, to say the least. There were some really super nice nurses and various staff...and there were some not so really super nice nurses...that is to be expected, I suppose. Regardless, on Thursday, the day after the surgery, I am greeted by a large African American man, who is a nurses aid. I am sure he gets a lot of requests for a different nurse, simply because he was so big and so dark. I have had two kids and frankly don't care who sees my girly parts. If this guy could get my ass out of bed, then have at it! I will not go into any more detail, but at some point, I realized that I had this very same guy as my nurses aid when I was in the hospital 2 years ago. So, making conversation, I said as much to him. It went a little like this...(picture a lead balloon...)
Me: Hey, how long have you worked on this floor?
Him: Me? Oh a few years, why?
Me: I was here about 2 years ago, and I think you helped me then.
Him: Hmmm...could be, you remember that long ago?
Me: I have a pretty good memory...
**What I wanted to say was...a white girl like me can count on ONE finger the number of big black guys who have seen her naked. You tend to not forget these things. I giggled to myself the rest of the day.
Funny (less than funny) #2.
Dog. Walk. Me.
We haven't been on a walk together in at least 2 weeks. This was a quick trip around the block. NO!? I swear he peed on EVERY tree from our house all the way around the block. There isn't a tree we didn't mark. Take that bitches. We are back.
Of course, he is sleeping now. That walk was a bitch.