Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Busted at the Costco

At work we have a pretzel container...full of pretzels ( I know, right?) We seem to take turns buying the pretzels...I say seem to, because frankly, I just thought that the pretzel fairy brought them when I was sleeping. I was mistaken. So, yesterday...after having to stick my hand way too far into the barrel, I decided to buy the next round. The dilemma is that the pretzels come from Costco. You need to "belong" to Costco. I don't "belong" anywhere. This normally isn't a problem, many friends and co workers belong...and I just go along with them when I need something. Yesterday, no one was up for a random Costco trip. I ended up borrowing my cousin Aimee's card. Aimee and I don't look alike. Who knew that would be a big deal! So...I go...browse the aisles of Costco...wishing I had a disposable income large enough to afford the $1500 leather 3 piece recliner...and plucking the pretzels from the shelf. I have 2 large pretzel barrels, one under each arm...and I am off to check out. I am nervous, what with the illegal card and all. But she rings it up and things are almost done...I even make small talk with the lady working with her. Pretzels are paid for...I am so close to being done...and then the cashier turns the card over. BUSTED. She looks at the picture. She looks at me. Picture. Me. Now, to be fair, my cousin doesn't even look like this picture any more, but I look NOTHING like it. Her? Curly hair. Me? Not so much. The cashier, what a nice lady she was, says "Is this your card?" Well. We both know it isn't. But really, all that I needed to say was "yes" and I could have been home free. But what ensues is really, the height of my retardedness.
Her: "Is this your card?"
Me: hangs head "no"
Her: Looks to other lady, as if to say "WTF? Couldn't she lie, so we can let her go? What an asshole."
Me: "I mean, YES! YES! That is my card."
Other lady: "The card is non-transferable." hands me the card.

What a dumb ass I am. And, when did I become so honest? It pains me to think that there might be more of this in the future.


alison said...

Ah the wonderful evilness that is Costco. I really don't like the whole big-box store ethos, but can't resist 1 litre of real maple syrup (which my daughters eat like they were drinking water) for 10 bucks. Or those funny shaped jars of olives stuffed with garlic cloves....

I used to have a spouse card from when I was married. After he moved out, I found that the card still worked. Yay. Then I got dependent on it for well-priced lunchbox goodies for the girls and cheap propane-tank refils. The last time I went through the checkout, with a bunch of items, my card came back as cancelled. Turns out someone in the ex's hr department remembered he wasn't married anymore and cancelled the spouse card. How embarassing. At least they let me pay for all my stuff before they took the card away. I guess I'll just have to ante up the $50 and get another one for myself. Sigh.

Melissa said...

I'm a Sam's chick myself. I have to be, with the football team to feed. My in laws used to take us all the time, then we just paid for our own membership one day. There are good deals, but some stores are also carrying things that places like Sam's and Costco would, in special places in the store. Check to see, unless you wanna go all rogue again and use the cousin's card! LOL